Relationships, sex and intimacy

The short version

  • Breast cancer and its treatment can affect relationships, sex and intimacy, through tiredness, body changes, pain, menopausal symptoms and worry.1
  • Vaginal dryness is common and treatable, with moisturisers used regularly and lubricants during sex.1
  • Talking openly with your partner, and with your team, helps. You don’t need to struggle on your own.

Why things change

  • Some treatments lower oestrogen, which can cause vaginal dryness and lower desire.1
  • Surgery, radiotherapy and some medicines can cause pain, numbness or stiffness that makes touch uncomfortable.1
  • Fatigue, hot flushes and night sweats can affect intimacy.1
  • Body changes, such as scars or losing a breast, can affect how you feel about yourself. See body image and confidence.
  • Some antidepressants can reduce desire or make orgasm harder.1

Vaginal dryness

  • Vaginal moisturisers are used regularly, whether or not you’re having sex, to ease dryness and discomfort.1
  • Lubricants are used during sex to reduce friction and pain. Oil-based lubricants can damage condoms.1
  • Test new products on a small area first.1
  • Vaginal oestrogen is sometimes considered by specialists, but usually not if you’re taking an aromatase inhibitor. Discuss the risks and benefits with your team.1

You can buy moisturisers and lubricants at a pharmacy, or ask your GP. If dryness doesn’t improve, see your GP, as an infection can cause similar symptoms.2

Intimacy with a partner

  • Talk honestly about what feels good and what hurts. It can help you both relax.1
  • Focus on closeness: touch, cuddling and time together, not just sex.
  • Plan for energy: choose times when you’re less tired, and take pain relief beforehand if you need it.1
  • Try different positions that avoid pressure on sore areas.1
  • Be patient. Things often improve as treatment side effects settle.

Contraception during treatment

Avoid getting pregnant during treatment, as it can harm a developing baby. Most teams advise barrier contraception, such as condoms, during treatment. Hormonal contraception isn’t usually suitable after breast cancer. Talk to your team about the best option for you.1

Relationships more broadly

Cancer can put strain on any relationship. Partners may feel scared, helpless or unsure what to say. It can help to:

  • tell each other what you need, whether that’s practical help, space or company
  • share appointments, if you’d like support
  • get support for your partner too, for example from Maggie’s, which supports family and friends.3

Specialist help

Ask your breast care nurse or GP about:

  • psychosexual therapy, a talking therapy for sexual difficulties
  • relationship counselling
  • a menopause clinic, for help with symptoms

Breast Cancer Now’s helpline is free on 0808 800 6000, and its nurses can talk about sex and intimacy in confidence.1, 4

Related pages

Everyone’s treatment is different, so talk to your cancer team about what is right for you.

References

  1. Breast Cancer Now. Sex after breast cancer. breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/life-after-treatment/sex-after-breast-cancer/
  2. Breast Cancer Now. Menopausal symptoms and breast cancer. breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/treatment/hormone-endocrine-therapy/menopausal-symptoms-and-breast-cancer
  3. Maggie’s. Facts and statistics 2025. maggies.org/media/filer_public/b0/75/b0759449-fcd5-4331-a14f-6b822f8bfed2/maggies_facts_stats_2025.pdf
  4. Breast Cancer Now. Call our helpline. breastcancernow.org/support-for-you/call-our-helpline